Vegan Diaries – The Final Countdown

Originally posted on http://shrinkingjeans.net

vegan diaries

As of today, I have successfully been a vegan since March 11. That’s about 5 weeks, people! I have been diligent and faithful with minor unintentional slip-ups. And guess what? I survived! It IS possible to go vegan without starving yourself or depleting your body of the vitamins and minerals it needs. In fact, I have eaten cleaner and healthier in the past 5 weeks than I can remember doing before. I didn’t really lose weight (maybe a pound or 2), I didn’t become anemic, and I didn’t join PETA. But I did learn a great deal more about food than I ever thought was possible, and has sent me on a mission to be much more aware of what I put into my body from here on out.

As a way to commemorate my last few days of this vegan challenge, I hosted a vegan potluck where people crept out of their comfort zone and made some dang delicious vegan grub. Simply seeing that vegan smorgasbord brought me great happiness. Some of the scrumptious dishes provided (and devoured) included:

SOOOO much good food and a fun thing to share with friends. Everything turned out great and everyone enjoyed themselves, sans dairy and meat and all.

Learning and researching have been important aspects in this journey. And insanely eye-opening. Among the documentaries I watched, the articles I read, and the book I devoured, I have discovered there is a great deal more about the food industry that is not necessarily common knowlege, and not necessarily advertised. You have to search out the information, take the initiative to read and research it, and have the diligence to apply it to your every day consumption.

A few of the areas that I am much more aware (i.e. a label-reading fiend) include:

  • Corn and its many different masks. Corn is in just about everything at the grocery store, but may be labeled something different depending on its purpose in the food.
  • Sugar and sugar substitutes. Fake, real, or what have you, something sweet is added to many different products that wouldn’t even necessarily call for it. Not only am I looking for this culprit, but where exactly it is on the ingredient label. Remember, the higher up on the list, the more it makes up that particular product.
  • Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs). Holy yikes! They are in EVERYTHING! It’s hard to stay away, especially because they are labeled as so many different things, but chances are most of the items in your grocery cart contain them. There are organizations and companies out there who will provide labels on their products if they do not contain GMOs, such as the Non-GMO Project.
  • Enriched vs. Unenriched ingredients. Enriched flour, sugar, etc. is processed so that it is stripped of any nutritional value, but is made to have a longer shelf-life and a more concentrated flavor.
  • Artificial food dyes. This is an issue most people don’t necessarily think about. Artificial food dyes are in many foods that you wouldn’t even think of: marshmallows, pickles, chocolate pudding. Not only are most of them petroleum based, the chemical make-up can cause a whole mess of health problems. Although they may be FDA approved, in many other countries a warning label is required to inform consumers that there are unnatural food dyes added.
  • Grass fed vs. not; farm fresh vs. not; organic vs. not.

It baffles me that we must become our own educators when it comes to our food. Many people won’t. We put faith in a system with little question, because we don’t think it would fail us to the point of allowing harmful products to be obtained. That’s just wishful thinking. It’s not about the good of the society anymore; it’s about marketing and target audiences and pretty colors and enhanced flavors. It’s about the money. Bottom line. Priorities have certainly become skewed, and we’re supposed to fall victim unless we have the audacity to go beyond what we’re being sold and dig a little deeper. And I do.

As a recap, these are some of the places I got my information, education, recipes, inspiration, and motivation.

Documentaries

Books

Websites (blogs, recipes, etc.)

Additionally, when I first started this journey, I set some goals for myself. I feel I have accomplished and exceeded even my own expectations. They included:

  • Become more familiar with the vegan/vegetarian community
  • Gain an appreciation for a strict plant-based diet
  • Actually cook a few recipes from the cookbook
  • DON’T CHEAT
  • Be an inspiration (hopefully) for those interested in trying it
  • Learn – I feel like this will be happening a lot
  • Have fun!

I have most certainly learned, become appreciative, and had fun throughout this challenge. It wasn’t all easy and wasn’t all hard; it was an adjustment. My mom has told me she has started reading labels more carefully when she goes grocery shopping. I’ll count that as being an inspiration. Who knows, maybe I’ve struck something in someone else along the way, too.

What now? Honestly, I’m not quite sure. What I do know is that I will be making more educated decisions about what I eat. I also intend to severely limit my meat and dairy in-take going forward. My new goals are to buy local (when possible), stay educated about what I’m eating, continue to read labels, cut out what my body doesn’t need, eat clean, and make choices that will benefit me in the long run. Armed with information, I plan on applying it as much as possible when it comes to food choices.

Whether vegan, vegetarian, or omnivore, it’s important to educate yourself about what you’re putting in your body. If I am to take one thing from this entire experience, that would be the meat tofu of it all.

Vegan Diaries – Comfort Zone

Originally posted on http://shrinkingjeans.net

vegan diaries

Well that’s it. It’s over. I officially give up on this vegan challenge and lifestyle. Sayonara veganness, welcome back meat and dairy!

APRIL FOOLS!

I just couldn’t help myself. *Chuckle*

All joking aside, week 3 has probably been the toughest week so far in this challenge. Not due to a waning enthusiasm for all things vegan, not due to overwhelming cravings for pork chops or cheesecake, and not due to peer pressure or arguments against veganism. It was due to little things here and there that added up over the course of the week: my boyfriend decided he couldn’t hack the vegan lifestyle (proving once again that women are the stronger sex) and went back to eating ‘normally;’ I went to a family dinner that displayed homemade chocolate-chip cookies and cheese-and-meat-laden dishes; above all, I was ridiculously sick and in dire need of comfort food (and an exquisite compilation of cold and flu medication). When I think comfort food, I think hearty, homemade, stick-to-your-ribs food that satisfies some innate insatiable hunger for said dishes, which, somehow also make you feel better no matter how crummy you feel or sick you are. Miracle food, if you will. The problem with most ‘comfort food’ dishes is that they have some combination of meat or dairy in them. I attempted to combat the comfort food stereotype and create versions that maintained the vegan credentials. Therefore, there will be no ‘Eat Of The Week,’ but instead:

Comfort Food(s) Of The Week

Let’s start with the Italian-turned-American-defining dish that can be tailored to innumerable desires, satisfy the pickiest of eaters, and hold its own in the comfort food category: Pizza. There are few and far between who can turn down a piece of piping-hot pizza straight out of the oven, bursting with gooey cheeses and a plethora of delicious toppings, creating a perfect harmony of sweet, salty, and savory flavors delivered directly to your taste buds. You can be as creative or simple as you’d like with pizza, which is one of the love-evoking characteristics. For vegan pizza, there are a few caveats: thou shalt not have cheese, pepperoni, sausage, ham, canadian bacon, buttered crust, or fake-ground parmesan for topping. There are thousands of homemade pizza recipes online. I (sadly) did not take a picture of the final product, but this is essentially how it went down:

  • Homemade whole-wheat, seasoned, agave drizzled crust
  • Arrabiata sauce (now we have sweet AND spicy) – ‘doctor’ up your sauce however you’d like
  • Sautéed portabella mushrooms, spinach, and onions with olive oil and Italian seasonings
  • Sliced white onion, green and red bell peppers, olives, tomatoes
  • Garnish/top with a little sea salt, fresh spinach (you can let it wilt on the hot pizza), basil, and if you’re like me red pepper flakes

I actually didn’t even miss the cheese!

While pizza is a nice start to some comfort food-filled days, there’s one thing that I kept thinking about over and over again.

Homemade macaroni and cheese.

I grew up spoiled. We rarely had mac n cheese out of a box; it was always a deliciously creamy 3 to 5 cheese dish of baked goodness that my mom ruined us with. Others rarely compare, and the boxed stuff is just out of the question. I even made it as my ‘American’ homemade dish for my Peruvian family when I studied abroad. That and guacamole. Separately, of course. They LOVED it! But, I digress. Cheese is nixed from the vegan food pyramid, so I went searching the web for ideas. I found one from Chef Chloe, whose cookbook I bought, and decided to give it a go. It had great reviews and sounded delicious.

Vegan Mac ‘N’ Cheese

I followed this recipe exact, not knowing exactly how these ingredients worked together. The resulting product actually looked like mac n cheese, so that was very exciting! As I dug into my pseudo cheesy noodles and broccoli, delicious as it was, I was a little disheartened. Don’t get me wrong, it had great flavor and texture, but it definitely left something to be desired for the cheese factor. Pushing aside the inclination to compare it to the mac n cheese I’m used to, I embraced the noodle dish I had created. It would be a great alternative for those who cannot have cheese. For those who can but are looking to try something different, go for it, but think of it as a new dish altogether, and not necessarily as the mac n cheese that you’re used to.

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Vegan Mac ‘N’ Cheese

Of course, with comfort food you have to factor in something sweet, and, preferably chocolatey. I found a recipe for a vegan chocolate orange pudding, which fit in line with the comfort food theme. I have never been a fan of jello or pudding (I think it’s a texture thing), but the combination of orange and chocolate kept me coming back to the recipe. It’s about trying new things, so why not?

Chocolate Orange Pudding

The recipe turned out to be a complete disaster, so I’m not even going to post it on here. I dug deep and bribed my inner Betty Crocker to come save me on this one. The final product actually turned out beautifully. This is essentially what I did:

  • 1 ½ ripe avocados
  • Almond milk (unsweetened)
  • Unsweetened cocoa powder
  • Agave nectar
  • Orange zest
  • Garnish with small orange slices
  • Refrigerate for at least 1 hour prior to servingchoc orange pudding

Forgive the vague measurements – I literally have NO idea how much of everything I put in there. Like I said, I started from scratch since the recipe led me down the pudding path of Hell (glimpse: fake vegan chocolate chip explosion in microwave, insta-drying to vegan chocolate cement). I do know that I put A LOT of agave nectar to sweeten it. You could use whatever sweetener you’d like. You could also start out with sweetened cocoa powder – the unsweetened stuff was all I had. Additionally, I put the avocado, almond milk, and cocoa powder in the blender to smooth everything out. I added the agave nectar and orange zest separately and mixed everything in a bowl. It turned out so creamy. I would say it made about 3 cups of pudding total. Oh, and HOLY CHOCOLATE GODS THAT’S GOOD!

Eye-Opener Of The Week

DIVE!

This 54-minute documentary takes us in to the world of wasted food. Directed by Jeremy Seifert, this documentary follows a group of dumpster divers who routinely get their food from big name grocery chain dumpsters, and exposes the wastefulness of the American consumer, grocery chain, and producer. In America, 96 billion pounds of food are thrown away every year. That’s about HALF the food that gets produced. “We pressure supermarkets, hotels, restaurants, and corporations to Save More and Waste Less. We highlight the role of hunger, poverty, and waste in society and take this on as an issue of justice, ethics, morality, and common sense. We imagine a world of empty dumpsters, full bellies, and regular people leading sustainable lives.” Seifert attempts to explore hunger in America, the amount food waste, and the large gap that could be closed as a result of wasted food ending up in hungry hands. He talks with food banks that acknowledge they have an annual food shortage, and continually strive to feed those in need. While many grocery stores and chains have agreements with food banks, that’s not always the case and there are many clauses and circumstances that create, what should be an easy process, a convoluted one. This award-winning film is literally an eye-opener to a world of waste that rarely comes to the forefront of current societal issues, and up until now, to my mind.

Director Jeremy Seifert is planning to launch another documentary this year that focuses on GMOs and the companies behind them. With the current controversy surrounding Monsanto, as well as GMOs in general, this film is sure to spark the interest of many. Check out the trailer here.

With a tough week behind me, I can keep my focus strong on the next 2 weeks of this challenge. Sometimes the desires of comfort and familiarity can be a learning curve that force us to think a different way. And sometimes that way is out of our comfort zone.

Vegan Diaries – Hitting Home

Originally posted on http://shrinkingjeans.net

vegan diaries

Yep. It happened. Twice. I went to a restaurant where all I could possibly have on their menu was the hummus appetizer, a salad (modified), or the edamame appetizer. Oh, I supposed I could’ve also had the olive plate, too. I feel stuffed just reading all that…. Then again I failed to research the menu before I went there, thinking that there would most certainly be something that I could eat…besides just a salad. I thought wrong. I even asked my server if there was anything they could do; I was that person. Being a server myself, I was very polite; I didn’t want to push it or come off annoying. Even with all my efforts, my answer came in the form of a strong ‘no.’

But, I learned my lesson and now know to research menus online or call beforehand.

I’ve never before had to think about that, because I’ve never had any sort of ‘dietary restrictions’ (minus going gluten free for a few months). It’s a new perspective to see how difficult it can be to go out for a meal, depending on how accomodating the menu, staff, and chef are. Then again, I have ‘cut’ quite a few things out of an American diet. It amazes me how many things have meat or dairy and cannot be altered because that’s mainly the meal.

It’s funny how another perspective has been changing for me, too. I don’t find more that I’ve ‘cut’ things out of my diet, but that other people just add more to theirs. It may not make sense to many people, but it’s a different way of looking at it. We’ve come so far out of touch with meals that are fresh and natural, free from GMOs and preservatives and pesticides and corn. Does such a thing exist anymore? That being said, I’m becoming more familiar with my grocery store environment (I hate the grocery store), and am learning which brands I trust, which I don’t, and getting very good at reading labels and ingredients. I also am learning my way better and better around the kitchen. At 25, I don’t really cook. It’s not, nor has ever been my thing. Chopping, slicing, dicing, mixing all seem time-consuming and require a lot of patience. But, I’m getting better and coming to terms with it. Baby steps. I have managed to stumble my way through some recipes, and even (kind of) come up with my own.

Eat Of The Week

Kitchen Sink Tacos

ks taco These have pretty much everything but the kitchen sink in them (yay awkward American expressions!). I literally took out almost every vegetable in my refrigerator for the taco/fajita filling. I started by sauteeing onion, garlic, and asparagus in some olive oil. After those became soft I added red, orange, and yellow bell peppers, serrano peppers for some spice, shredded zucchini, crimini mushrooms, black beans, corn, cilantro, and a whole mess of spices (use your favorite taco or fajita blend). While I let that all marinade, I chopped up roma tomaotes, avocado, and lettuce for toppings. Additionally I made a creamy sauce with vegan mayonaise, cilantro, lime juice, crushed red pepper, black pepper, salt, and probably something else I don’t remember (I got the idea from one of my recipe books). They may look a little grey and bland, but these guys are packed with flavor! Use you favorite veggies, or whatever you have in your fridge — they went over extremely well with friends. No meat and all.

Now, I actually have 2 Eats Of The Week. The 2nd one being:

Delicious Vegan Chili

A Colorado March winter day, with 6 new inches of snow calls for a big bowl of chili. I found this recipe and was sold. This was also modified, of course, by adding a ton more veggies, extra beans, and an extra can of diced tomatoes. That means it needed extra seasonings. Taste test to your liking.

vegan chili veggies

All the veggies chopped up and ready to go

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The final result

Craving Of The Week

I don’t really drink milk in the first place. I’ve been using almond milk for a very long time. For my boyfriend, who’s doing this challenge with me, that has been the most difficult thing to give up. As a frequent milk drinker, he’s finding that other forms of milk don’t really compare; they don’t taste the same. I happen to LOVE almond milk, but he has a little more difficulty adjusting to different foods. When it comes to milk, there are a few things that really stick out to me: we are the only species on the planet that drinks another species’ milk. I find that a little odd. Don’t get me wrong, I was raised on it and don’t have a problem drinking a glass now and then, it’s just not something in my every day diet. While there may be health benefits to a glass of milk a day, there are also cons, including a high carbon footprint, how you actually get your milk, what’s done to it, and what’s done to the cows. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Whats-really-in-your-carton

Eye Opener Of The Week

Food, Inc.

Wow. What a crazy world we live in. This film will not tell you what to eat. This film will tell you what you’re already eating. And that’s even worse. It’s not made to push vegetarianism or criticize someone for eating veal, it’s made to tell you about the food monopoly that we’re encouraging on a daily basis. It’s an industry that compromises food and the best interests of the people by making nutritionally void, chemical filled, artificial flavored meals more affordable than a head of lettuce. And it’s doing it one conglomerate at a time, putting the local, independent farmers, who can actually produce fresh, natural, good-for-you food, out of business.


Facts that really stuck out to me:

  • The average supermarket has over 47,000 items on the shelves. Over 70% of those have corn in them.
  • A chicken can be born, raised in a pitch black environment, loaded with meds and antibiotics, and butchered and ready to eat in 49 days. That’s a month and a half, folks. Their breasts grow so large that they cannot physically walk during their 49-day lifespan.
  • A fast-food hamburger can contain meat from up to 100 different cows. Bettie, Bessie, Barney…..
  • Cows are not meant to eat corn. They are meant to eat grass. Because corn is cheaper and more easily disposable, that’s what they are raised on. In doing so, their stomachs cannot digest the corn, and their stomachs become breeding grounds for E.coli bacteria. The solution? Washing beef in ammonia and chlorine to destroy these bacteria before they are sold to grocery stores. The kicker: it would take only 5 days of feeding grass in place of corn to kill nearly all the E.coli bacteria.
  • We are training fish to eat corn. WHAT?!
  • The USDA is allowed to regulate what constitutes organic food and when your milk is past due, but it does not have the authority to shut down a meat plant if they are selling tainted meat.
  • Food, Inc. took 6 years to produce. In that timeframe, Robert Kenner attempted to interview 50 of the largest food producers in America. Not a single one agreed. These include Tyson, Smithfield Farms, and Monsanto.

I have a newly found appreciation for local farming and intend to do my best to get my hands on independent farmer produce. Quality over quantity and local community support. I’m all for it.

This vegan adventure definitely hit home for me this past week between learning where I can and cannot go out to eat (and knowing I have to do my research), to understanding the importance of local farming and where your food is truly coming from. We don’t live in a perfect world, but we can do our best to make adjustments toward a healthier one.

Becoming a Southern Belle?

photo

I’ve been to South America and South Asia (Indonesia), but before last August (2012), I had never been to the South in North America. That changed when I started dating a Southerner from Louisiana. Born and raised in Colorado, I’m not a huge fan of humidity, and neither is my curly hair, which becomes ridiculously unruly and unmanageable the closer to sea level I get. I’d never had any reason to go until then. It rains more than any place I’ve seen. Colorado is lucky to get a few thunderstorms a year – this is an almost daily occurrence down there. Yep, it’s definitely different.

A Southern Belle is something I’ll never be, but I’ve definitely learned my share of skills and had some crazy experiences down there. A few things I’ve learned and learned how to do:

*A new language. That’s right, the South has it’s own language. They are efficient people – they take one big breath and say everything they have to say in one sentence very long word without breaking in between. Often, they will shorten words so as not to use up energy with those extra syllables. Then, they will stare at you until you respond, whether or not you understood anything that came out of their mouth. Nod. A lot.

IMG_0198IMG_0199*Crawfish season is revered, and you best get your order in asap or watch out for rowdy people throwin ‘bows for the last pound. There is a crawfish hierarchy that is established among restaurants as to whose is the best – this is dictated through a drawn-out conversation by crawfish consumers between juciy bites discussing the seasoning of these ones to so-and-so’s down the street. Yet, they all get eaten all the same. Oh, and size does matter.

*Coke is soda is water. Any sort of bubbly soda is stored and stocked in houses and establishments like they’re preparing for a world-wide shortage. The only thing they’re missing is for it to come out of their faucets. Everything is called Coke – it’s just a matter of what kind of Coke you’d like.

*Some places are dark and dirty, while others resemble an extraordinary oasis. I’ve been on one plantation there, Houmas House, and it is one of the prettiest places I’ve seen. Also, some of the houses we’ve driven by are incredible. Quite a contrast between those and the poverty of New Orleans. They all have one thing in common, though, the culture of the people. The culture is tangible and hard not to get caught up in. It’s a mixture of feelings: old and new, music and art, cajun, french, american, wealth and poverty, history and the present.

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Houmas

House

Plantation

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*The food is phenomenal, plentiful, and very filling.

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And yet we eat, and eat, and eat some more!

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Other things I learned in Louisiana:

IMG_0203How to shoot a gun

 

 

 

 

How squirrell tastes (I didn’t think I’d actually hit the little guy)

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How to wedge, throw, and trim my very first pot

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How to make apple butter

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I’ve also been deep-sea fishing, hurricane drinking, regular fishing, insect identifying, frog leg eating, orange picking, running from slugs (irrational fear), walking down Bourbon Street and the French Quarter, sipping cafe au lait and eating beignets from Cafe Du Monde. Although it’s very different from home and almost like another world, it’s a fun place to visit and I’m excited to see what the next trip has in store for me.

I’ll just be a Colorado girl in a Southern Belle world.

Getting cultured: Take 2

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — Albert Einstein

Well, there you have it. According to Mr. Einstein, I’m a crazy person. I like to think that I’m a crazy person with high standards, though, which just goes to show that if you believe in it enough, do zero additional research, and try the exact same method…..you’re certifiably psychotic.

Psychosis works for me. Suits me, in fact. However, instead of proving the rule this time, I am the exception.

~~~~~~~~I MADE YOGURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~

For real. Edible, too! I’m actually going to go ahead and toot my own horn: It was absolutely delicious!

Because my first attempt was such a disaster, it took me a while to muster up the desire to try it a second time. Then again, Rome wasn’t built in a day. -yogurt, Rome…whatever-

When something goes wrong the first time, typically you assess and adjust the process for any subsequent trials. I say typically, because I didn’t. Too much effort. Wait, that’s a lie: I did not put towels on the stove for charring purposes this time. Yay me. I did look at additional yogurt-making recipes, the majority of which called for either powdered milk, yogurt cultures, whole milk and whole fat yogurt, or yogurt machines. Fabulous. Couldn’t find powdered milk -it was probably right in front of me at the store; I obviously don’t do well in grocery stores-; didn’t want to use yogurt cultures since I felt it was pointless because yogurt cultures are in the yogurt you add to the mixture already; wanted a reduced-fat yogurt — I don’t buy whole fat yogurt or milk at the store in the first place, so why would I make it that way? –; and I clearly do not own a yougrt-making machine.

Back to square one. So what did I do? The same damn thing I did the first time…with slight adjustments. I bought fat-free yogurt, 2% milk (last time I used skim – I don’t recommend that), and just talked nice to it. I had everything at my fingertips. When I decided to give it another go, I re-created my double-boiler, got out my trusty thermometer, and was ready to face the yogurt fates. -OH, I decided I didn’t learn my lesson the first time and bought another half gallon of milk to make another unnecessary half gallon of yogurt for this one person. I amaze myself at my intelligence sometimes-

Step 1: create double boiler

IMG_0167

Double boiler

Step 2: pour milk into pot
………….Step 2: pour milk into pot

This gets slightly complicated when the top shelf of your refrigerator has decided to imitate the Arctic and make one giant ice cube out of your milk. -insert background laughter from the yogurt fates here- I’m off to a spectacular start. Step 1 has now turned in to: thaw your giant ice cube of milk any way you can – this may take a good half hour or so. Probably longer.

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Well, that was fun.

After your milk cube is thawed, pour into the top pot and bring up to 180°F for minimum a half hour, stirring frequently. During this process, I did notice that my milk frothed quite a bit more than the skim milk for the first attempt.

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After about a half hour, cool down the milk to approximately 110°F, stirring occasionally. I did this with an ice bath in my sink. You can do it by leaving it on your counter, it will just take much longer, and goodness knows (and my family, and my friends, and my boyfriend) that I am not a patient person.

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Ice bath to 110F

Add 1 to 3 tablespoons of yogurt (yes, you use yogurt to make yogurt) to your cooled milk. I used FAGE Total 0% for mine. Stir this in well to your milk.

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Add yogurt to cooled milk

Now, you have sour, hot, yogurt milk. Congrats! Think of it as your yogurt embryo. This little guy needs some TLC, and a warm, quiet place to incubate for 7+ hours. You want to keep it between 100°F and 110°F during this time. The site I originally got the recipe off of suggests a heating pad. Uh, don’t try to get super creative and invent your own if you don’t have one. It won’t work. Trust me. This time, instead of putting it on top of the oven, I decided to put it in the oven! ………I can hear your negative thoughts you cynics. Ok, ok, I deserve them. I did not turn the oven on. Instead, I put a lid on my yogurt embryo mixture, wrapped it in towels, and put the bottom of the double boiler (the pot that had the boiling water in it) next to it in the oven. I heated up more water in a tea kettle and added that to it as well. I checked on the temperature every now and then and added more hot water only once.

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The oven ‘incubator’

I intended to pull it out of the oven at 7 hours. But I went to dinner with a friend and lost track of time. I got home when it had been sitting there for at least 9 hours if not longer. Knowing me, and my relationship with the yogurt fates, I was figuratively crossing every limb, fiber, and hair strand I had that this would not be my downfall again. I pulled out the pot, unwrapped it from the towels and lifted the lid to reveal:

Yogurt.

WOO HOO!!!

WOO HOO!!!

I did it! It worked! I couldn’t believe it. It looked like yogurt, and even kind of smelled like yogurt. I was giddy with pleasure and the satisfaction that the yogurt fates and I had become friends come to an understanding. I put it in containers to refrigerate over night -NOT on the top shelf of my fridge-. The real testament would come the next morning with the first sample.

Morning comes. I’m excited and slightly nervous to try it, considering it was something I made. From scratch. In the kitchen. And you just never know how that’s going to turn out. –If it works out, you ideally never have to buy yogurt again; you can use a few tablespoons from your homemade yogurt in the milk to make a new batch.- It was actually, surprisingly very good. Not as tart as I’m used to, but I was ok with that. The consistency was perfect, maybe a little less solid (is that the right word?), but definitely not runny.

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Homemade Yogurt

HECK. YES.

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So good even Klondike wants some 🙂

I’ll just go ahead and give myself a pat on the back for that one.

Tofu pie

No, really. I mean it. No bake blueberry pie. With tofu.

I scrunched my nose up at first, too. Tofu is NOT my thing.

But, it got my attention; I became intrigued. It has a few of my kitchen requirements: minimal ingredients, and minimal time spent in the kitchen. PLUS it’s a no bake concoction. And that’s even better. With the mixture of very interesting ingredients, I decided I just had to try it out for myself! I figured I’d be like a healthy, vegetarian, red-headed Betty Crocker.

Onward to the grocery store.

For those of you who know me, you know that I HATE the grocery store. Everything about it. Couldn’t tell you why, either. I avoid it at all costs; my food supply gets ridiculously low before I decide that a breakfast of condiments isn’t going to do it and I give in to the Evil Food Fortress (aka the grocery store). My goal, if I have to go to the store, is to spend as little time as humanly possible there. I try to pretend I’m a contestant on Supermarket Sweep and have a time limit to grab anything I need. This often results in forgetting items, and running in to things. Or people.

Let me set the premise for you:

I decided to go to a bigger store than I normally do, because I figured they would have a better selection of everything. For a blueberry pie, I needed blueberries. Not a problem. Unless you’re me. I’m calm, cool, and collected, circling the produce section again, and again. And again. There are zero blueberries to be found. I very nicely ask a gentleman stocking fruit if they have blueberries.

“Ah, gosh. I don’t know. We didn’t get an order in this week for them somehow. We’ve got blackberries over there if you want blackberries.”

My immediate, non-censored reply would have been: “If I wanted blackberries, I would have asked you for those! In fact, I wouldn’t even have to talk to you at all because I would have found them on my own in the first place!” But instead, I politely said: “No, thank you.” And walked away.

Then, a miracle happened. As I was passing the clementines, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. That’s right, 3 little cartons of blueberries, staring straight at me. Since I so conveniently forgot to write down how much this particular recipe called for, I grabbed all 3 and put them in my cart. Thank you, blueberry karma. -I ended up only needing one little carton of blueberries for the pie-

Next stop: tofu land. I have never in my life bought any sort of tofu. Ever. I’m not a fan of the texture or anything about it. It’s a block of something that tastes like nothing. And that’s just wrong. The recipe calls for ‘Lite Firm Tofu.’ Easy enough. I finally find the tofu selection and search through them. I see ‘Soft,’ ‘Firm,’ and ‘Extra Firm.’ Those are my options. Wtf. At this point, I’m thinking of canning the entire thing, throwing a tantrum, and going home. I talk myself out if it, though, and sit there staring at the tofu for a good 5 minutes. I have zero idea which one to get. So I start poking them to see how ‘soft,’ ‘firm,’ and ‘extra firm’ they really are -like I really know what I’m doing-. That is until I catch a lady in the yogurt section next to me trying not to stare. I opt for the ‘soft’ one and head on my way to find Kefir.

I have no idea what Kefir is, but the recipe calls for it. I try to find it on my own for a while. Remember, more time spent in the grocery store is time that I’ll never get back. I find an older gentleman who works there and ask him. He has no idea. Perfect. We find someone else, and she thinks she may know what it is but calls someone on the intercom anyway. And then there were 4. This guy knew where it was and starts leading us there….right back to the tofu section. It, of course, was sitting right there. It’s a probiotic drink in case you’re interested.

The bright side is that I had everything else I needed for the pie at home, so I could get the heck out of there.

Tofu pie.

Ingredients: blueberries, tofu, kefir, lime juice, stevia, sliced almonds, vanilla extract, vanilla whey protein powder (not pictured), and pie crust.

For specifics, this is where I got the recipe.

No bake blueberry pie ingredients

All the fixin’s

Measure it all out, throw it into the blender, blend, and pour into pie crust. Easy as…well, you know.

-sidenote- I had no idea tofu is kept in water (or something liquidy) to preserve it. I had tofu water everywhere in my kitchen when I tried to open it up. Gross.

Ingredients in blender

Appetizing, no?

I topped mine with sliced almonds. There is an almond crust recipe, but I just bought a pie crust instead.

No bake blueberry pie

The final result!

It needs to sit in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours before serving.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. The pie is delicious. I got confirmation from 3 other people as well that they liked it. No, it does not have the consistency of tofu. In fact, you can’t even tell. The pie could essentially be made with any sort of fruit or fruit combination. I might play around with the recipe next time I make it. After the first slice, I put it in the freezer, and it came out almost like an ice cream pie. I liked it better than just the refrigerated one and will probably do this in the future.

Slice of pie

No bake blueberry pie

Combining a bad grocery store trip with tofu inspired pie turned out not to be so bad after all. …Who knew?

IMG_0142

Watch out, Betty Crocker!